Thursday, September 22, 2011

Why I Haven't Blogged.

Because L-I-F-E has gotten crazy. New full time job (which I do appreciate in this economy), 90 minute commute each way. But still...the last few months has been a whirlwind. And I don't even have kids!

Because I am having a hard time with my D management. I struggle with unexplained highs. I sit for 10-11 hours straight, and I worry what it's doing to my circulation. I slack off on wearing Dex, I am too exhausted to even exercise. The only bright spot is having access to healthy food every day at the cafeteria. I have an appointment with a brand new endo in a month, someone I've never met, because my old doctor is in Chicago. And I'm already nervous. I feel like my teenage self, scared of my mean old pediatric endo who used to yell at me for anything over 250 mg/dL.

Because there are so many other new and old DOC bloggers who speak far more eloquently than I do.

Because, admittedly, I just don't want to rehash my life these days. I'm in a rut.

Because there are times I still feel alone, no matter how many DOC connections I see. I still live my day-to-day life without ever seeing another t1PWD.

Because.

As my husband says, "Excuses are the currency of failure." So I guess I will come back when I'm done with excuses.

Friday, May 20, 2011

One Thirty A.M.

One thirty in the morning
And here I am, awake
Alone again in the night
Like so many times before.

Off I search for something
To quiet the dull roar
Of neurons' thirst for sugar
To quell this nighttime low.

I sneak off to the kitchen
Careful not to wake
Sleeping cat or husband
This silent team we make

You and I, diabetes,
We mustn't make a sound
Sip slowly from the bottle
There's no one else around

Alone with diabetes
My mind is set afire
For fleeting distant seconds
Low sugar does inspire

A thousand Mona Lisas
Solutions to world peace
A million calculations
All problems seem to cease

I can't explain what happens -
To some it makes no sense -
But when the rush of a low hits me
My brain gives recompense

In form of inspiration
A poem or story line
Or maybe just a blog entry
To share with thee and thine

It's then I truly hate you
Diabetes, night time foe,
For showing me what happens
When words flow out of Low -
When Muse is made of sugar,
And fire is St. Elmo.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Crap.


Not what you want to see 90 minutes after eating. (Don't worry, thanks to Dex I never went below 85.)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Dilemma



The scene: A job interview for a position with great benefits and pay. I'm nailing it and beginning to think this may work out.



Suddenly, a familiar beep beckons. "Sorry, I have to excuse myself for a moment. That's my pump telling me to go get something to eat," said the interviewer.



Her assistant enters the room and immediately takes up the conversation. A few minutes later the interviewer comes back. "So, where were we...?"



The question, DOC: Do I say anything? Should I take the chance? I have been burned very badly by diabetes in the workplace before, and every piece of job hunt advice I've ever gotten screams no. In the end, I chose not to bring it up. If I get the job, I will say something. Just not yet. But inwardly, I was sooooo keen to jump...




Was I right?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Back in the Hand

At the JDRF Walk in West Palm Beach, FL, March 5, 2011. The mighty wind nearly made it "Sailing to Cure Diabetes"!

I've been away for a while living L-I-F-E, but I'm still on the DOC Twitterverse and reading your blogs. Just a post to let you all know what's goin' on:
1) My latest A1C done earlier this month, 7.0, is my highest in 6 years. Blech :-(
2) I'm going to see an endo here in Florida in June for follow up. I haven't seen anyone but my Chicago PCP since 1995, so I'm nervous. Visions of an OmniPod have been dancing in my head lately....
3) Some other health concerns unrelated to the D are in hand, thankfully (and knock on wood). What a load of worry off my mind!
4) Whoever said 40 is the new 30 was lying (!)
5) And to all the people I work with now who are so totally cool with me being a person with diabetes...THANK YOU. It makes my life so much less stressful not to hide it anymore.
Cheers for now!