Friday, February 1, 2008

25 Years Ago...Part Three

Telling your diagnosis story seems to hold special sway in the diabetes OC. I was "lucky" in that I was old enough to realize what was happening to me, and that years later I can still recall everything. For others the memories are dimmer, less vivid, steeped in the language and fabric of childhood. For those who were diagnosed much later (as older teens or adults), I can imagine the mental anguish that might come with recounting every last detail. Is it good to remember so much, I wonder? Maybe the answer depends on your feelings about diabetes in general. For me it's cathartic to write about, because growing up, no one ever asked me about my diagnosis. My parents and other family members were too worried about taking care of me, and in doing their best to give me an otherwise normal life avoided dwelling on the subject. It caused them too much pain to relive it. My friends, while supportive in other ways, never asked about what was wrong with me or why I was in the hospital so long. I'm grateful if you've been reading along as I journey back to my own "d-day". Only among you do I feel like this has some importance, some recognition. Thank you.

In keeping with a thread on Diabetes Daily, I'm posting my "before" picture. This was taken at my 12th birthday party about three weeks before I was diagnosed. I went from 96 lbs. to 75 lbs. before diagnosis. I am struck now by how thin my arms were. (Even my fingers were skinny!) I was also very pale and my hair was limp and falling out. But at the party I remember having a great time, laughing and playing with my friends. My mom, as usual, made the day special even though it was in the dark of winter (my parties were always indoors, and boy was I jealous of kids born in the summertime!). I'll post an "after" picture sometime soon. Til then, here's one of my favorites from recent days:


Mandy said...

I can't imagine what it would be like to be diagnosed at the age of 12. Things are hard enough at that age.

It's true, when writing and communicating with other D-people, there's a certain understanding and appreciation. Since I know NO ONE with D in everyday life, it's been hard to talk about it. Unless you have it, you can't really understand, I think. Most people I know would be happy to never learn about it either, and that's OK.

I have to say, I love the recent picture. You look so happy & healthy, that it just makes me smile!

Cara said...

I was only 4, so my memories are vague at best. I think I like it that way. Not remembering much about life, pre-D, I think makes it easier for me to handle.
It is very cathardic to write about it. That's what got me into blogging. Being able to vent, and have people understand, is so very nice.
Thanks for sharing your picture!

Shannon said...

You were so thin in that pick. It breaks my heart.

But you are gorgeous in your recent picture!!

Araby62 (a.k.a. Kathy) said...

Thanks everyone, this is exactly what makes blogging about it so rewarding for me :-)